Thanksgiving.

Today the YA speaker spoke about how to discern God's will for you in a life partner; and Jianping got married to Melanie in the Ritz. So I guess its inevitable that my thoughts turn to these things now, in the quiet of my (newly-packed and furnitured) room.


When I was in JC i couldn't see myself in university, much less med school.

When I was in med school I couldn't imagine myself as a doctor.

As a MO I couldn't imagine myself going back to the Army again.

In MOCC I never thought I would manage an IT system, and run a project.

And only in my wildest dreams could I have imagined having a beautiful girlfriend.


But hey, here I am - a doctor making plans for further training, 3 weeks from ORD with a different skill-set in IT and staff work, and with an amazingly wonderful, beautiful girl who loves me for me. Surely God has been good to me; and lest I forget or take Him or His blessings for granted, here is a blog post to remind me to thank Him every day.


Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
       great is your faithfulness.

--Lamentations 3:22-23

Surrender.

Surrender is scary.

Especially the kind that is total, without any "terms" and "compromises". Yet this is the kind of surrender God demands from us, in every area of life, in every season of life. 

Galatians 2:20 says 

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

A life surrendered to Jesus is directed by him; its eventual destiny is hidden in him; its everyday is lived with his love; its heart is broken at the things that breaks his; its time is spent on the things important to him; its timings and decisions hinge on his will; its relationships are characterised by the love and self sacrifice that are so evident of Jesus.

That's scary. In our very core is the fear of losing ourselves, our identity, our will, to something like a harsh overload/slave driver or simply callous Person that would utterly destroy our hearts. What if what He wants is not what I want? What if His plans are not best for me?

The closer it is the object of surrender is to our hearts, the more scary/painful surrender is. And when it's the love of your life......

And yet we can live no other way; for either He is Lord of all, or not Lord at all. And we (eventually, hopefully) find that our fears are unfounded; for He is the lover of our soul. How can He who came and died for me, not also give me every good and perfect thing according to His riches in glory? I mess up; I fail to love; I cannot protect her...but Lord You can.



Lord, I surrender Mel to You.

Did that just happen?

Awesomeness after awesomeness.

First a mission trip that breaks and remodels my heart (even now, after coming home).

Then a girl that holds it tenderly, thoughtfully and prayerfully (though she hasn't totally accepted it yet).

But above all, an awesome God whose promises never fail.





"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." - Jer 29:11

Soon to be amazing.

For choice that led to shame
For all the love that never came
For every vow that someone broke
For every lie that gave up hope

We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all

Places where grace is soon to be amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be
Unredeemed

-Selah - Unredeemed